why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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