I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
