1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
