How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
