You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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