I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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