you guys were way drunker than both of me
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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