Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
