check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
