you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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