he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
