Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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