i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
