oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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