i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize