I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You smell like stripper and shame
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
