we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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