So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
