I didn't shave. On purpose
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
