Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
