Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
