i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
