I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
