It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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