Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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