everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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