I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
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