Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
