at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
