She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
