Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize