I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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