ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
