what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
