May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
