I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
