We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
