Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I wish life had little blips of pornography
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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