I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Randomize
