Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
