How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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