pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Porn is love you can see.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
