Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
