Christians are straight up FREAKS
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
