I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
