so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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