quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
