Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
