did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
