wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
