I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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