My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
