Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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