D3 body, D1 cock
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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