I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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