I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
