If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
