I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
either way he was missing a nipple.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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