I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
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Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
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Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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