Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
