Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
