she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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