this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I did not marry a roomba.
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