Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
so explain again why im purple
no
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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