I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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