Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
