Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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