i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You know, be my cock's hype man.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
