I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
